When we start a relationship with someone we really like, we tend to ignore warning signs that may signal that the relationship might not last. With love’s rose colored glasses, it’s easy to miss warning signs that should be heeded. Below are a few red flags to look for.
1. Bringing Up Past Relationships
These include not just intimate relationships but those with family members and friends.
If a person is unable to evaluate why past relationships haven’t worked out, or consistently blames the other party for all of the problems, you can bet that the same thing could happen with your relationship.
2. They Don’t Introduce You To Their Friends
Introducing a new partner to my friends is a really big deal to me. It’s like meeting my parents. I have to start feeling like the relationship is going somewhere before that happens.
That being said, if you’ve been dating someone exclusively for an extended period of time and still have never met their friends, that should raise a red flag.
It could mean they don’t have any friends or simply don’t want them to know about you, both of which isn’t a good thing.
3. Controlling Behavior
At the other end of the spectrum, a partner may attempt to come between you and other significant people in your life.
They may become jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people, or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with.
They may make you choose them over family and friends. If this happens, don’t walk, RUN!
4. Being Secretive About Their Past
People can change, and their past shouldn’t be held against them. Past behaviors do not necessarily indicate what we will do in the present or future.
But, behaviors such as illegal activities and addictive behaviors that haven’t been resolved and continue into your relationship, are obvious red flags.
If someone absolutely refuses to tell you anything about their past, you should be very suspicious of that person.
5. Abusive Behavior
Finally, any form of abuse from verbal, emotional, or psychological, to physical should certainly not be ignored.
Even if the abuse if directed toward their parents, siblings, friends or strangers, it should be a huge red flag.
I mean, if someone is abusive toward their parents, how do you think he/she will treat you in the future?
A basic code I’ve always stuck to is this: if someone is nice to you, but not the waiter, he/she is not a nice person. Run away!
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