All of us have a desire for intimacy deep in our hearts and souls, but if you fear it, despite your best efforts you probably do everything you can to push it away. So, Why would you be afraid of something you so deeply want and yearn for?  It’s not so much being afraid to be intimate, but being afraid of loss. Below are 5 reasons you may be afraid of intimacy.

1. Be Willing to Feel Pain

There are some physical things you can do to tune in with your feelings. Start with mindfully following your breath to get present in your body, and compassionately embracing all feelings.

That way you can move toward your feelings rather than away from them with various forms of self-abandonment, such as staying focused in your head, judging yourself, turning to addictions to numb out, or making someone else responsible for your feelings.

2. Learn From Those Feelings and Take Responsibility For Them

Look deep into yourself to learn what may be causing these feelings.  What are you doing or thinking that may be causing the pain?

Is there a situation between you and another person or situation that is causing you pain?

Learn about what is going on inside and outside of yourself  that cause these feelings so that you can take action.

3.  Start a Dialogue With Your Higher Self

It isn’t as hard to connect with your higher self as you may think. The key is to be open to learning about loving yourself.

The answers may come immediately or over time. They may come in words or images or in dreams. When your heart is open to learning, the answers will come.

4.  Take the Action Learned in Step 3

You’ve opened up to your pain, moved into learning, started a dialogue with your feelings, and tapped into your spiritual guidance.

In step four, you take the action that, over time, heals the shame, anxiety, and depression that have been holding you back.

But, rather than thinking “How can I FEEL love for myself” instead emphasize the action, “What can I DO to love myself?”

5. Evaluate the Action

Once you take the action, check in to see if your pain, anger, and shame are getting healed.

If not, go back through the steps until you discover the truth that brings you peace, joy, and a deep sense of worth.

Loving and connecting with yourself is the key to being able to love and connect with others and create loving relationships.

When you heal your relationship with yourself and become strong enough to give and receive love, you will experience the incredible joy of intimacy.

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