Many people struggle with staying in love these days. Hopefully you can avoid these!

1. We’re all about instant gratification.

The modern world is all about high speed and efficiency. From high speed internet to fast food to 4G phone service…

We expect everything to move at lightning speed, and that’s not a good thing for love. Love is all about a slow burn, a gradual progression of feelings built on a basic foundation and nurtured over time.

You can’t expect to know if you love someone after a few dates or weeks hanging out.

2. We’re too into escapism with drugs and alcohol.

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There’s nothing wrong with a few drinks here and there with friends to unwind after a hard day, as long as you aren’t abusing it, there shouldn’t be a big issue.

But unfortunately even if you’re just a social or casual user of drugs or alcohol, it does get in the way of finding love.

When you’re inebriated it’s impossible to really participate in the real world, to meet new people, and to show your true colors to those you do interact with.

You simply won’t find love when you’re buzzed or blazed, because you’re not operating at full awareness and you’re not entirely yourself.

3. Casual sex is more and more prevalent.

Having a few hookups on it’s own is not necessarily a bad thing, but again, this is all about moderation and priorities.

Just like intoxicants like drugs and alcohol, sex can be a pretty destructive force in your life if you let it.

You’ve got to be careful not to lose yourself in it. Don’t do it just to feel a quick thrill or fill a void.

You could be dedicating all of that energy and time on looking for someone who will fulfill you emotionally, mentally, and physically instead.

4. People are seemingly more self-obsessed.

People nowadays are so involved in their own lives and their own drama that they just don’t even wake up to see what’s around them.

If you are putting all of your focus and energy into yourself and nothing else, there’s just no room and no chance for love to find it’s way into your heart.

5. We date because we feel pressured.

I’ve heard it a million times, young people often fall into tedious patterns going on mediocre dates with people they don’t feel much or any connection with, because they think it’s what they’re supposed to be doing.

But just because you’re not currently in love with someone doesn’t mean you have to go on date after date until something changes.

Take a break, get to know yourself a little and get involved in activities and events that have to do with your passions and interests.

This is a much better way to meet like-minded people who may understand you on a deeper level.

6. We refuse to make compromises.

Most people have a plan of some sort for their life. They have an idea about what they want to do and how they want things to look by certain ages.

They don’t want anything to get in the way of that plan, because the unknown can be scary and worrisome.

Unfortunately love isn’t always convenient, and it doesn’t wait around for you to figure out a new plan.

Be willing to make changes, postpone things, alter your plan a little for love. It will be worth it, I promise.

7. People have unrealistic ideas about what love is.

People often think of true love as some incredible fantasy that so few achieve in their lifetime.

They have all these ideals and requirements and expectations that will actually keep them from letting real love happen, because no normal person can fulfill them.

The truth is that love is messy and difficult sometimes. You’ve got to give it a margin for error, because this is real life, not a fairy tale.

8. We just don’t know how to love someone well.

It takes time and effort and lots of experience to learn how to love a person. Each partner is different and has needs and desires that require a different kind of love.

It’s okay to admit that maybe we’re just not that good at loving yet. It’s okay though, because we can learn and grow as people and eventually we’ll be better.

All you can do is put yourself out there and give it your best try.

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